A letter to Topher Grace

Dear Topher Grace,

I suppose I am writing a letter to someone I don’t know, but, since you were on TV, it should be considered somewhat acceptable. Still weird, though, I’m sure.

I just wanted to say thank you. But “thank-yous” are quite vague, so I also wanted to add a little context to it.

You see, Topher, about 4 years ago I left my country to go on an adventure to the amazing first world. A place known as “Canada”.

For as exciting and fun as all the ice was, I felt nothing but lost.

I missed everything that was ever familiar to me. Not because it was good before, but because it wasn’t scary and new. I didn’t have one friend. I specially missed furniture as my husband, I and the babies all slept on an empty air mattress on the floor ‘cause we didn’t know those things were supposed to come with a pump. We were newbies.

And yeah… I knew those were first world problems since ultimately we did have the option to buy food and I GET THAT people have real stuff going on in their lives, but all those changes still made my brain spin quite out of control.

Bit by bit we started building a life here and pretending everything was ok. But I still had all kinds of nightmares and anxiety problems. I was still waking up in the middle of the night in panic, not understand where I was.

But you made it stop.

Your voice sends me right back to a place I’ve been before. I know, when I listen to you, that I will laugh – eventually – so, it’s just like being with an old friend and, most importantly, it’s like being with the old me.

I recognize the world again when I hear you and even though Mondays are still unbearable, you help me get through them now. And, every week, after your little adventure is done, I am a little less afraid of mine.

So, thanks for doing the podcast.

I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Your fan,

Mi

Canada has turned me into a regular nightmare of mine (not my worst one, though).

When I told people we were moving to Canada 3 years ago they would all point out this very little known fact: “Oh, my! It will be COLD there’ .

Since I come from a polite nature I would always make the same joke, smile and walk away.

Funnily enough, when I finally moved here, whenever I got an Uber (I am one of those special people who don’t drive) they would still make the same joke ” You are from Brazil? It sure is colder here!” . I guess people really ARE the same no matter where you live.

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So, I am now going to use my very popular blog to warn newcomers of something a little less obvious than the low temperatures of this country: Canada will most likely turn you into the talkative old lady you used to run away from.

The lack of human communication brought on by the fact that all your friends and family were instantly gone overnight will bring up your anxiety levels as you wait in line at the walmart just HOPING the cashier will ask youHow is your day? ” . And BOY, will you give your answer a lot of thought!

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My dad is avoiding me. When he calls, which is 3 times a day, he can’t go with your regular “Hi, Mi! How are you?” anymore. He says it’s because my answer will be TOO HONEST. He is right about that.

I started therapy just so a poor soul would be obligated to talk to me for a whole hour.

I tried making friends but I guess I am just plain annoying.  I mean, my kids are home schooled. I am THAT person. People don’t like me, I don’t like people. I thought I’d fit in perfectly in the middle of nowhere.

Well, I was wrong.

So, thank you in advance for all of you who comment. I know there will be a lot. And rest assured that I will be answering very thoughtfully and carefully the smallest most irrelevant questions you ask.

Remember, kids: When on ice, do the Penguin Walk!

Tch-tchau!