I spend a considerable amount of time thinking about random stuff and daydreaming. I mean, let’s face it. I clearly lack the skills to end world hunger or cure incurable diseases. So, I tend to go in slightly less humanitarian directions.
Having advised you that this post, much like the last one, will not be productive at all,let me tell you about how, a couple days ago, I realized I had no character.
I was watching a youtube video and this particular youtuber, whose name I neither care nor recall what it is, had gotten a new haircut. I thought to myself “This girl is kinda bitchy and tough, her old haircut was NOTHING like her personality, but this new one certainly is.”
I stopped the video.
I was having a moment of clarity.
I probably had the wrong haircut as well!
I wanted my hair to be like the abstract of my personality. It HAD to mean something other than “I didn’t brush this morning, ’cause I’m a mom”.
My first stop. Pinterest.
” Hair. ” – I typed.
And then it hit me: I was doing it wrong!
I needed to add a personality defying adjective to ” Hair ” to do this research. Maybe a character from a movie I identified with or some singer who had the same “vibe” that I did… someone whose hair “SAID” something about them and that I could copy.
But what was my adjective?
Once upon a time, I was certainly sarcastic, but ever since Friends was cancelled I don’t see that Chandler Bing influence on my speech so much anymore.
When I was 13, this boy I had a crush on liked a girl who was terribly silly and I vividly remember starting acting like her to see if that would work. It didn’t.
For the past couple of months I have been watching ” That 70’s show ” ’cause I realized I had only watched the first season and since Topher Grace started his podcast I’ve been catching myself using some of his expressions to communicate with people who don’t get my jokes, just for my personal amusement.
And that’s when it hit me.
I just copy what’s around me. One personality to the next. I absolutely, 100%, with no doubt DO NOT HAVE MY OWN thing.
36 years into this incarnation and I haven’t created a Michele yet.
NO WONDER I change my hair every month… every color and haircut feels wrong because I don’t know what I aiming for. I have no clue who I am. None!
So, first of all, thank you for all your comments, Gab and Julie – who are like the only friends I have who can read. And here’s my next question for debate:
Who the hell am I?
Any good personality tests you suggest? I am 1. super curious and 2. loving talking about myself… to myself.
Every text need a conclusion. Not mine though, ’cause I’m the queen of this blog… and I am pretty lost like… in general. So, there ya go.
Take care, Julie!
Take care, Gab!